FrankWit

how to be creative

So you want to be more creative, in art, in business, whatever. Here are some tips that have    worked for me over the years:

1. Ignore everybody.

2. The idea doesn't have to be big. It just has to change the world. 

3. Put the hours in.

4. If your biz plan depends on you suddenly being "discovered" by some big shot, your plan will probably fail.

5. You are responsible for your own experience. 

6. Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten.

7. Keep your day job.

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Alarm clocks are bad. How to wake up and feel better.

This guy is a PhD canidate and he's written this fantastic article on waking up.

Waking up abruptly by the sound of an alarm clock is an inherently unnatural thing to do. Sometimes you can wake up after 8 hours and feel like crap. Other times, you can wake up after 6 hours and feel completely rested. The problem lies in what you're doing when you're suddenly woken up from your slumber.

I use a very simple and natural system that I think works quite well. I don't drink coffee. I don't drink soda/pop/cola (regularly). I don't need to use any sort of caffeine to stay awake. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor (yet) and while I'm an expert, it's not in sleep. What I can say is that this has worked for me for the past 7 years and throughout university.  READ MORE

How to Use a Penis

So Suzie-Q, you've found a penis but you don't know how to use it. Well, lucky for you I have a penis and I have spent a good part of my life using it. The most important thing to remember is that the penis was specially designed by God to make your vagina feel good. Unfortunately, God did a shitty design job and he attached the penis to a man - so the chances of a penis making you feel good are infinitesimal.

While God did a lousy job where you're concerned, making the guy who owns the penis happy is as easy as Betty Crocker Brownies in a Pan. All you really have to do is look at it, talk about it or lightly graze it, and you've probably done a good enough job.

Let's make this clear right up front. If I was a woman I wouldn't go anywhere near a penis. I'd get myself dolled up real nice and find me a lipstick lesbian and a top of the line vibrator and never think about penises again. Better yet, if, by the grace of God, I turned out to be a lipstick lesbian, I would get myself a vibrator and a mirror and never leave my bedroom.

But you want to meet a nice guy and eventually you will be forced to deal with his penis so here's a diagram of a penis I found on the internet.  READ MORE (scroll down)

How to Use a Vagina

So Bucky, you've found a vagina but you don't know how to use it. Unfortunately, vaginas do not come with instructions, proper lighting or air fresheners. Well, you came to the right place. Your Uncle Melon has invested years in exhaustive field work and is willing to spread this knowledge to all. The most important thing to remember is that the vagina was specially designed by God to make your penis feel good.  READ MORE

How To Become An Assassin

 

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HOW TO BECOME AN ASSASSIN

By

-The Propagation

Need to get off the phone?

This site offers a large amount of audio files dedicated to getting you off the phone in almost every situation. 

Shortcuts to get to the real asshole that can't help you... Instead of that automated one...

Press 1 if you would like to read about this link.
Press 2 if you would like to move onto another website completely.
Press 3 if you just crapped yourself from waiting on hold too long.
Press 4 if you would like to hear other options...
Press 5 ... mmmm beer...

The "Work Blind" Curtain

This guy is desperate to avoid work...

This is a beautiful idea... I might need to invest... although it wouldn't work too well for the car...

make sure to visit his site...

A while ago I mentioned an idea that I had about creating a "work blind".  I actually ended up doing it.  I had buttercup666 stand in my neighbor's cubicle and take a picture of me hard at work. Then I straightened the photo, undistorted it, and cropped it to the area in the doorway. I took it to Kinko's where they printed it onto vinyl, and grommeted the top with a kit that matrushkaka bought me. The result: The Work Blind. Think of it as the modern version of Jughead drawing eyes on his eyelids so that everyone thinks he's awake and paying attention all day, or Wile E. Coyote painting a tunnel entrance on the side of a mountain.

Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap

Just this morning I was thinking I could use this soap. I was completely out of coffee, and I could barely open my eyes. I'm ordering some of this up now. I can just stumble into the shower and kill two birds with one stone. I'm throwing out the Senseo, and I'm sticking with Shower Shock.  More...

Make your own ninja mask out of an everyday T-shirt

If you find yourself in a situation where you suddenly need to be stealth.  Vem Reid makes it easy.

Get all of your ninja needs from FrankWit Podcast HERE.
This will open directly to iTunes, from there just click subscribe.  Thanks for giving us a try!